(Sanctuary)

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“No brother, I love you, but our kids is gonna come out with three heads and cross-eyed—you know what Pa said!”

“Dey can’t keep us from lovin’ each other. I don’t care if you is my sister. We is in luv.”

Imagine the squeaking of a dilapidated, rodent-infested mattress and two hillbillies cohabitating in a trailer with faux wood paneling. Also, imagine that in another room is a clock radio tonelessly blaring “Down On Me” as a faucet drips and dog barks in the distance. After said copulation, the two inbreds muster up just enough energy to turn on Jerry Springer before going to the hot plate to prep some mac and cheese. While the pasta is softening to a heavenly-buttered texture, sister tells brother that she will always love him—as a brother and eventually as a husband. He professes his love in return. “Someday,” he says, “we will have our own clock radio, and it will play Jackyl all day and all night.” After all, he’s a “lumberjack, baby.”

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Yeah, you know, come to think of it--it is a bit unfair of me to characterize Jackyl fans as white trash sibling bangers…but…I don’t care. If the characterization strikes a little too close to home for you, maybe you should pull your willy out of your sis and do something more productive like whittling a new pipe out of a tree branch while eating some Cheetos parked in the front seat of your F-150. Now, if you want to get really productive, maybe you could get a job, buy a scooter and cruise on up to Sturgis and park right in front of The Full Throttle Saloon where Jesse James Dupree and the boys might just be warmin’ up for a show. Their new live offering, Live At The Full Throttle Saloon, chronicles just such an occasion. You know what that means—good music, vaginal infection and Pabst Blue Ribbon for everyone!!

From a half minute into the first song, “The More You Hate It,” two aspects of this record are apparent—the first is that the production on Full Throttle is about as low rent as the Vince Neil live album I reviewed about a year ago. That is to say, you could make a recording using the most rudimentary equipment in your garage, and it would sound about like this. The consistently low tones make it sound as if you’re listening to a tape your best friend’s band recently made in grandma’s woodshed. The second part of this offering that jumps out at the listener concerns Jesse’s voice, which still manages to sound remarkably clear and strong even amidst the blurry auditory miasma that surrounds him. If you weren’t aware of it before, take note: Jesse James is a showman—his stage appearance is undeniable—even on CD.

The second tune “I Stand Alone” gets the festivities going in full swing. The song is an undeniable classic—it’s hard to believe that this is the selection that helped put the band on the map twelve years ago. It doesn’t seem like it has been that long… well, until you take a look at the audience comprised primarily of women who have spent the last decade living really rough lives on the backs of Harley’s and in hotel rooms across the country. Ya know, I’m sure it was a prettier picture a years ago… the scene is definitely a little rougher around the edges today—the breasts a bit more droopy--the ass cheeks slowly succumbing to the substantial powers of gravity. This disc concludes with four songs from the band’s debut, Jackyl: “Down On Me,” “Dirty Little Mind,” “Redneck Punk” and the set closing “The Lumberjack.” Of these crowd pleasers, only “Dirty Little Mind” bogs down the proceedings. It logs in at over nine minutes or so… man, that’s longer than “Freebird.” Think about it—in ten minutes, you could do your sister, drink a six-pack and still have time to abuse yourself before the final note is played.

Besides the five offerings from the band’s debut, there are also four tracks from Relentless—the aforementioned “The More You Hate It,” “Mr. Evil,” “You Want It Heavy” and “Down This Road Before.” “Push Comes to Shove” is also included and comes from the LP of the same name. These selections are quality tunes. It isn’t like Jackyl only produced one listenable record—it’s just as was the case with much of the metal produced in the ‘90s… it sort of got lost. That’s too bad because Jackyl really does have a quality sound that blends southern rock with solid hooks and good time lyrics that really get the c-section scars shakin’ across the dance floor.

The two biggest obstacles in giving this record three stars concerns the homemade nature of the audio on this as well as the set’s relative brevity. Another four songs wouldn’t have hurt either, to be sure. That being said, these are problems that don’t really stem from the band’s performance per se, but they are definitely points that make this project less desirable for purchase nonetheless. The lineup of Jesse James Dupree on vocals, Jeff Worley on guitars, Chis Worley on drums and Roman Glick on bass consistently display tight musicianship and a desire to rev up the predominantly biker crowd, and it seems as though they have succeeded although the entire effect is better captured on DVD rather than CD due to the substandard audio. For any true Jackyl fan, this is still a must-own project, but for anyone else, the money would definitely be better spent buying your sister a ring… or saving up for the health insurance that your first cross-eyed drooling child will doubtlessly require.

* * ½