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JIZZY PEARL Crucified

By Damian J. Cousins aka "The Maestro", Dallas Contributor
Monday, January 13, 2014 @ 9:28 AM


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JIZZY PEARL
Crucified

Self-Released





Well, originally I thought I’d be reviewing a LOVE/HATE release, but that was NOT the case. Singer JIZZY PEARL has decided to put out a new EP Crucified under his own name because, as you can read just about anywhere right now, “dealing with ex-members just isn't worth the hassle." Oy. OK, so that’s strike one, having unnecessary drama attached to your release (Frequency Unknown, anyone?). Strikes two, three, four, AND five would be the EP itself. What in the fucking name of all that is holy is this crap?!?

This is going to be a short one because quite frankly if I have to listen for much longer I will jump off the roof of the nearest tall building just to end it all. LOVE/HATE was one of my favorite bands once upon a time with Blackout In the Red Room and Wasted In America before that god-awful Let’s Rumble turned me away completely in 1994. I should have just stayed away altogether. Opener “Hanging You Out to Dry” sounds like the love child of THE RAMONES and STP, and not in a good way at all. “Sunny Day” is a love song to JIZZY’S girlfriend, but when the nails-on-a-chalkboard vocals start I just can’t take it as a declaration of affection. In fact, if I was on the receiving end of a song like this I’d slap whoever gave it to me.

I have no idea what’s going on with “You’re Making Me Nervous”, nor do I care; it’s silly. I finally got something I could really get into with “I Don’t Want to Be Your Baby”, a simple, acoustic number that shows me JIZZY hasn’t completely lost the plot. We then get a 60’s vibe for some psychedelia in the form of “Love Is All”, which is just OK. So after going 0 for 3, we’ve put up a point and a half on the board, but it’s to be short-lived because closer “Too Late” is utterly forgettable and generic. So…six songs, 1.5 of which is good. If this is what we can expect from JIZZY in future, thanks but no thanks.

1.5 Out Of 5.0


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