Two New GWAR Members To Join Their Scumdog Brothers On The GWAR Eternal Tour This Fall
By
Larry Petro,
News Monkey
Monday, September 22, 2014 @ 4:37 PM
Berserker Blóthar And Vulvatron
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GWAR, the most brutal band in existence, has bolstered its ranks leading up to the GWAR Eternal Tour. The Berserker Blóthar and Vulvatron are the latest intergalactic warriors to be banished to the pathetic mudball known as Planet Earth. Blóthar; a fat, filthy, frozen space viking, will take over as GWAR's lead vocalist. The role of the red-hot cybernetic spitfire known as Vulvatron is more mysterious...Both will feature prominently in the anticipated GWAR Eternal Tour - which promises to be the most shocking and entertaining rock show of the year! Get to know your new masters before they grind you to a bloody pulp!
Blóthar
Size:XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL
Origin: The Berserker Blóthar is an ancient shape-shifting holy warrior from the planet Scumdoggia. Blóthar is known to associate with intergalactic outlaw biker gangs
Position: Doggy Style baby! A true Renaissance man; Blóthar sings, he dances, he kills things...
Features: Blóthar wears a ceremonial headdress fashioned from the gigantic antlers and pelt of a Spectral Moon Moose he killed eons ago. He carries a mighty battle axe, an impenetrable shield, and for some reason has grown a set of hideous space udders
Hobbies: Ice fishing and ritual murder
Quote: "I went into a trance of blinding rage. I must have killed a million space apes. I was sleeping it off, and I woke up with a piss boner. I figure, why waste it, you know? So I'm rubbing one out, and the next thing I know, I'm on stage with GWAR in front of thousands of hideous, acne-ridden teenaged humanoids. I was promised there would be wifi, but it's hit or miss...."
Vulvatron
Size: Genetically engineered to the optimum proportions for a female of her species
Origin: Vulvatron has returned from the year 69000, where she was a high-ranking Scumdog assassin in the battle against futuro-fascist forces. Her primary functions include mastery of the arts of war, quantum mechanics, and intergalactic musicology
Position: Head Bitch In Charge
Features: Shock-white dreadlocks, high-tech armor, cybernetic implants, boob spew, prominent posterior
Hobbies: Adapting her superior technology and sexual prowess to the present day, perfecting the chemical formula for Vulvoline - her line of signature drag-racing motor oils, hot yoga
Quote: "I have summoned Planck quantities of energy to navigate the fabric of space-time back to this primitive era on Earth. I believe our wormhole might have slightly malfunctioned upon my arrival, also ushering in a primeval creature from a far earlier era, vaguely resembling a Moon Moose. I shall have to report this anomaly to maintenance. My mission is to alter the current path of GWAR so that they might prevent the darkest period in the history of the Universe! I have calculated an optimum plan of action to achieve...Hey! Quit staring at my tits!"
See the Berserker Blóthar, Vulvatron and the rest of GWAR as they embark upon the GWAR Eternal Tour and search for Oderus Urungus!
GWAR W/ DECAPITATED and AMERICAN SHARKS:
10/15: Norfolk, VA @ The Norva
10/16: Sayreville, NJ @ Starland Ballroom
10/17: Stroudsburg, PA @ Sherman Theater
10/18: Worcester, MA @ The Palladium - "Rock and Shock Festival"
10/19: Buffalo, NY @ The Town Ballroom
10/21: Louisville, KY @ Expo Five****
10/22: Memphis, TN @ New Daisy Theater
10/23: Dallas, TX @ Gas Monkey Live
10/24: New Orleans, LA @ House of Blues
10/25: Austin, TX @ Emo's - "Housecore Horror Film Festival*
10/26: Houston, TX @ Warehouse Live
10/28: Oklahoma City, OK @ Diamond Ballroom
10/29: Sauget, IL @ Pop's Nightclub
10/30: Lawrence, KS @ Granada Theater
10/31: Denver, CO @ The Summit Music Hall**
11/1: Albuquerque, NM @ Sunshine Theater
11/2: Tempe, AZ @ The Marquee
11/3: Santa Ana, CA @ The Observatory
11/4: Reno, NV @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/5: San Francisco, CA @ The Regency Ballroom
11/6: Hollywood, CA @ House of Blues
11/7: Las Vegas, NV @ Hard Rock Live
11/8: Magna, UT @ The Great Salt Air
11/10: Boise, ID @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/11: Portland, OR @ Roseland Theater
11/12: Seattle, WA @ Showbox SODO
GWAR W/ TBA and AMERICAN SHARKS:
11/14: Vancouver, BC and Commodore Ballroom
GWAR W/ CORROSION OF CONFORMITY and AMERICAN SHARKS:
11/15: Spokane, WA @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/16: Calgary, AB @ MacEwan Hall Ballroom
11/17: Edmonton, AB @ Union Hall
11/19: Fargo, ND @ The Venue
11/20: Minneapolis, MN @ Skyway Theater
11/21: Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave
11/22: Detroit, MI @ Harpo's
11/23: Grand Rapids, MI @ The Intersection***
11/25: Indianapolis, IN @ The Vogue
11/26: Cleveland, OH @ House of Blues
11/28: Charlotte, NC @ Tremont Music Hall
11/29: Philadelphia, PA @ Electric Factory
11/30: New York, NY @ Irving Plaza
12/2: Nashville, TN @ Exit/In
12/3: Asheville, NC @ The Orange Peel
12/4: Pensacola, FL @ Vinyl Music Hall
12/5: Orlando, FL @ Firestone Live
12/6: Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade
12/7: Columbus, OH @ Newport Music Hall
12/8: Millvale, PA @ Mr. Smalls Theater
12/9: Toronto, ON @ Opera House
12/10: Montreal, QC @ Virgin Mobile Corona Theater
12/11: Clifton Park, NY @ Upstate Concert Hall
12/12: New Haven, CT @ Toad's Place
12/13: Baltimore, MD @ Baltimore Sound Stage
* No AMERICAN SHARKS
** HAVOK plays on this show
*** THE MEATMEN play on this show
**** HUNTRESS plays on this show
Vulvatron