'IN MY DARKEST HOUR - A Memoir'

IN MY DARKEST HOUR - A Memoir
By Dave Mustaine with Joe Layden
2026 De Capo Books

“When you’re healthy, you have a hundred problems; when you’re sick, you have one problem.”

MEGADETH leader and main man Dave Mustaine recently published his third book, 'In My Darkest Hour', available now from De Capo Books. This follows Dave’s previous memoirs 'Mustaine- A Heavy Metal Memoir (2010)' and 'Rust in Peace: The Inside Story of the Megadeth Masterpiece' (2020), both of which I enjoyed. In this new book, Dave chronicles his 2019 battle with cancer and the recording of the MEGADETH album 'The Sick, The Dying... and the Dead!' He also reunites with co-author Joe Layden, who contributed to his first book in 2010. 'In My Darkest Hour' hit me in a personal way. I would have bought and read this book anyway, but my interest was the cancer diagnosis and Dave’s experience during that time. I endured a very similar experience with cancer as a teenager.

Dave begins the book by reminding the reader of his rocky upbringing; being homeless and poor, his dental problems as a teen, and his stints in rehab over the years battling drug and alcohol addiction. Dave even died briefly once! He remembers what he was doing when he found out his diagnosis with “The Big C” (cancer); getting ready to go on the Experience Hendrix Tour in 2019 and jam some Jimi Hendrix songs. He had some pain in the back of his mouth, and later got a recommendation for a CT scan. He found out he had a tumor (squamous cell carcinoma) growing at the base of his tongue. By the time it was discovered, it had spread to the lymph nodes in his neck. 

Dave realized he couldn’t beat cancer alone and leaned on a lot of people, including his family, friends and bandmates. He was also able to get in touch with Bruce Dickinson, who endured a similar treatment for a tumor on his tongue in 2015. Bruce was able to give him advice and encouragement that clearly meant a great deal. This book is mainly narrated by Dave but features tons of quotes from family members daughter Electra, son Justis and wife Pam. There are numerous quotes from drummer Dirk Verbeuren (who was the most engaged from the band) and producer Chris Rakestraw about what happened during the time of recording the album. Dave even addresses the situation that led to him firing David Ellefson from MEGADETH. Surprisingly, there are chapters about martial arts training and attending AA meetings, but there is no religious aspect in this book, and Dave doesn’t bring up God or his recent conversion to faith at all. 

“To this day, I have health issues related to both the disease and its treatment.” 

I know exactly how Dave feels. Dave speaks candidly about addiction, injuries, illness, creative and business strife, anxiety and depression. He also mentions the downright anger he felt and the fact that he “did nothing to deserve this.” When recording “The Sick, The Dying...and the Dead!”  (the album title refers to the Bubonic Plague, but it takes on a whole new meaning once you read Dave’s story about recording it), Dave was sick the whole time, and some days could not go on.

Dave endured chemotherapy first, then radiation in lieu of surgery, and brutal weeks of chemotherapy injections, with some side effects, including memory loss, but no hair loss. I also endured memory loss (it never was the same again) and hair loss. I had the benefit of youth on my side, Dave was 57 when he fought cancer, and he faced it like a brave soldier, that is absolutely sure.

Aesthetically, 'In My Darkest Hour' is well done. The layout of the book is reader friendly, with each chapter being named after a MEGADETH album or song. There is a cancer cell motif at the front of every chapter and the dust jacket design is well done. Overall, I loved this book and would recommend it to any fan of MEGADETH or anyone enduring a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Dave has a good sense of humor discussing a very serious subject. The bottom line is: I’m glad Dave survived cancer and is still here. I’m a fan and have been rooting for his success for a long time. 

Next up for me: Chuck Billy’s new book on fighting cancer, ‘Holding My Breath’, out in November.

5.0 Out Of 5.0

You can purchase the book HERE